Giving Thanks

Well, it's nearly Thanksgiving and I'm yet again reminded that I should be grateful.  It's sad that it's taken me about a year to make another post on my blog, but better late than never, right?

What do I have to be grateful for?  The question that has been hanging over my head ever since those Halloween decorations went down and the ones with turkeys and pilgrims went up.  No, I don't think I could name all of the things, but I will mention a few of the most important.

I am very grateful for God.  I am grateful He exists and that He cares about everyone... and about me and my family- each individually, not in the manner that many think of when they hear the term "Supreme Being."  But as a friend, as true family, for we are all children of God.  I didn't believe anything of the sort for most of my life.  But after I prayed to know if God was real, if He was loving, if He was listening to me, I felt it so strongly that He is.  And it made all the difference for me.  All of a sudden life was no longer about survival, and it was about happiness.  Trying to find joy in everything and in the dark moments to see it as the small moment it is in the big scheme of things.  Even what I would have called "bad" things have turned around to bless me in some way or another, or I can feel it coming.  That is a HUGE thing that blesses my life.  My relationship with God, my sure knowledge that the Church I go to is actually true and the system of which was designed by God, the hope and meaning it gives me... these are such incredible blessings I feel anything I now say afterwards can't even compare.

But the next most important blessing I have is the lovely family I have.  Now, I may spend every day with these people, and every day they may each do something (or multiple somethings) that annoy me.  But the love we have for each other, the eternal nature of families... it is SO exciting!  It's wonderful that we CAN be together forever.  And it's wonderful that we want to be.

I am grateful for my husband.  For all his little gifts and thoughtful service.  For his patience with me.  For the way I see him striving to follow the counsel given to us on our wedding day to come home from work with a cheerful heart.  And there are many days I can tell it is so draining on him to live the life he is with all his challenges and trials.  For him I wish I could sweep it all away.  He deserves to be happy.

I am grateful to be a mother.  All three of them, now.  With all their little quirks and talents.  I love it.  They're getting older and despite the scary fact that that means that I'M getting older too... it is remarkable.  I love that 2/3 of my kids can feed themselves and are learning to be potty trained, can be polite and understand the consequences of bad behavior (some, at least).  It is SO wonderful knowing that they love me and need me, even when I have failed them in certain areas in the past/present.  I love them for loving me.  They are so sweet and pure and kind.  Okay... when they aren't shouting "NO!  Boo Boo's ONLY!" or whacking their sister over the head with a block or something.  (Those 2 scenarios might be related)  But they are seriously good kids, and all things considered, I am really quite proud of them.

I am grateful for my wonderful extended family.  From my parents and brother, to my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, my inherited family through my marriage to Tim (that sounds so much better than in-laws, doesn't it?) that encompasses so many wonderful people I have come to love so hard it hurts.  I have had so much kindness and understanding that many people don't have in their family, and try to seek it elsewhere.  But the special bond of being relatives and actually liking each other is a wonderful thing, and I would be so ungrateful not to mention it.

Well, there are SO many things I could mention, but I do have some things to do tonight so I'll have to stop somewhere.  But I challenge all of you to pause and reflect on your lives as well.  Gratitude is not and should not be confined merely to a holiday where we gorge ourselves on turkey.  (Ooh, and stuffing!  Mmmm!)  It really is something we need to remember daily, and as we do so it transforms us into grateful people.  It transforms our lives into something happier and more worthwhile.  All the gimmicks available out there, but nothing can do it in a lasting way quite like gratitude can.

Oh, one last thing to be grateful for: thanks for reading this.  :)

At the Park

Today was a very interesting day.  I took the kids in their double stroller to the park.  I took pictures as usual... then when Eleanor wanted to go down the tall twisty slide some older kids came along and it made me nervous because I didn't know what they would be like.  Eleanor was watching them so much that she just stood there and wouldn't go then.  Then she changed her mind and said she didn't want to.

Soon after she was content to go down the smaller slide by herself while the kids played nearby on these dinosaurs.  The oldest was a boy and said Eleanor was cute.  We got to talking and I made some important realizations.  The boy was 11 and his sister was 7.5, they were incredibly sweet kids.  The boy wouldn't stop talking, it sounded like he had so much bottled up inside him he just wanted to get out.  Reminded me of growing up with MY talkative brother who was 4 years older than me.

But after going on and on about random things I saw a lot about their lives.  Their parents were divorced, his dad had been remarried two times, he made friends better with girls than boys and a lot of kids had been very mean to him.  Both the kids had medical problems.  His dad was somewhat inactive at church and he thought he liked his sister better.  He'd sworn at them before and... It sounded like a very hard life.  Yet these kids were so kind.  The girl's smile made me smile.  The boy used bigger words and more adult talk than I had ever figured he would... they were darling.

They both loved babies, so they thought my kids were just adorable.  The girl took Eleanor around, she took to her immediately.  She helped her go down the big slide, she helped her up on the dinosaur and I watched her change.  She wasn't so scared anymore, because her friend was beside her, holding her hand, telling her it was okay.  It almost makes me wish Eleanor had an older sibling or cousin, it was incredible to see the change in her, to watch her confidence grow, to see her beaming face when she made in down the BIG slide.

I am so proud of her.  I'm kind of proud of me too for letting go and letting her build these friendships all on her own.  I could see it was so important for her.  But I had to fight this horrible urge to treat her like a baby and do everything with her myself.  It's hard.  But she has a true friend, and that is priceless even if they never see each other again.  She is growing up.

These kids were so kind and I wish I could have done more for them.  It made me realize how wonderful it all is.  Having kids, teaching them, learning with them.  It's a beautiful process, and how important it is to show our kids good principles and keep them from the evils that we can.  It's hard to believe that my kids will be that old someday, and have their own complex thoughts and feelings and all.  It's easy to forget when the kids you live with talk about "Boo Boo POOPED!" and Garrett begging for "More!  More!" food.  But seeds are already planted... and my children are better than I ever imagined, really.  To see their face light up when they put on a hat or when they laugh with each other after one of them falls down.  It's precious.  All of it.

I am so grateful I have them and grateful for this new little one on the way.  I love them, and that love is eternal.

Number 3 is on the way...

So yes, we are ready to announce it to the world- we are expecting baby number three to come late August/ early September.  My due date is 9/9/11, but because of the way my cycle is- to me I'm counting it as 9/6/11.  My midwives said a couple days wasn't a big deal, so they're still going on the calculation from my LMP (Dec 3rd).  To me, I'm counting it for things like telling friends and such... because I really think I'm right.  And for some odd reason, it matters a lot more to me than it does to them.  :)

It's a crazy time in our lives to be having another, but we really felt this is what God wanted us to do.  And no matter how difficult the situation, whenever I feel that way and follow through on it, God always helps me find a way to get that challenge accomplished... and usually I find out that looking back on it, it was actually the BEST choice, not just an okay one.  So we're excited.  I've really enjoyed how close in age Eleanor and Garrett are (16 months) and now Garrett & number 3 will be something like 19 months apart.  It's hard, but then we'll get those baby/ toddler stages out of the way all at once, I figure.  :D  ...Wish me luck.  ;)

So much of our lives have to do with our attitude and what we make of things.  I am still in the process of learning this, so I'm not trying to preach at anyone, but I really have seen the differences in my life after experiencing both.  When we look for blessings and things to be grateful for, we always find them, even if it is hard sometimes.

Eleanor has been getting closer and closer to the 2.5 mark and I can't believe she's getting closer to 3 than she is 2!  It really does go fast.  She loves singing and dancing, running, playing with duplo blocks, playing with her dolls, taking toys from Garrett- oh!  Whoops!  Yeah, that too.  But once he gets walking I think they'll have SO much fun chasing each other all over the place.

Garrett has moved up from "baby" to "big boy" in so many ways now, it's exciting & sad (good thing there's another on the way- lol).  He drinks from a sippy cup, insists on eating only grown up food (this can be challenging since he has 4.5 teeth & none of them molars).  He crawls and pulls up (not so great at pulling DOWN, though), he stood on his own... for about one second!  He uses toddler spoons and is learning to say the dreaded word ("No!"...  It sounds more like "Nah!").  It goes fast.

My kids are great, I really am blessed to have them.  It is SUCH a short time we have them for.  Then before we know it they've grown up and are ready to venture out on their own.  I am trying to cherish the NOW.

Here's my happy thought of the day: I'm going to have a whole new life to meet and try to raise in light and truth as best as I can.  Still have about 8 weeks until the ultrasound to see them & find out the gender, but I'm already in love.